有感而发

这篇文章，欠了许久
其实老早就该写了
是太忙碌，恨不得快点毕业

给我爱得他
我们这些日子来，不长可是经历很多
喜怒哀乐甜酸苦辣尝了不少
分分离离，离离合合
是我谈恋爱，最成熟的一次
一直以来身边的人都很迁就我，就只有你
我要学着忍，冷静，坦白
然而很矛盾，要是没事发生就不用这些
要学习，就要养成习惯。
既然要习惯下来，还不是整天都要有事情发生？
我希望你懂，你接受我的脾性
我很明确地说，我不会对此作出改变
管我生气，不开心，凡是跟你相关的我张嘴肯定比金重
直到自己克服了，才愿意面对你。
原因很简单，我冷静不下来就会对你大声说话接下来就是我们开战
我要避免这一些不理智
要哄我，就要像哄贝比一样。
我鸟你，意味着你做对了
我不鸟你，意味着换个款吧
要不然就是我真的需要一些时间冷静思考，过后自自然会尝试破冰
就只有那么简单
因为我就是神经质，让情绪判断你的行动
不是你失败，只是我情绪化。
我不说话是为了控制
千万别因为我的冷漠而生气，觉得自己没有用

好多东西都习惯下来了
就好比如，
你不能经常在我身边
当你在的时候黏着你
每个星期的一天早晨，醒来你就在我身旁
不习惯的，还有许多
我很想赶快的适应过来
目前，心有余而力不足
不习惯早晨睁开眼，你不在身旁
不习惯没有人跟我嘻哈大笑
不习惯我们吵吵闹闹

近来，我们跌了爬起再跌再爬起
跌跌撞撞
双方压力大得很
我几度想要放弃
为什么每一次都是同样的问题
我要的是解决，要的是方案，不是气消了就算
我才19岁，
有的是青春。
我可以选择放纵，不当你是回事
可是因为我在乎
我其实真的没有必要在你什么都不是时，为未来挣扎时花尽我的青春在你身上？
难道我就不怕我选择错误
难道我就不怕会失去
有现实的路不走，却走上这凹凸不平的路
因为爱，我的路也为了你而走
相信你也一样

坦言
你不再是个男朋友那么简单
地位似乎有了重量
追忆过去
我看见了我自己对你态度的改变
有好的，也有不好的
领悟到，没有十全十美，要得到某些东西就得牺牲某些东西
是我太天真，我对你好，你会对我好一倍
情路上，女生始终还是最吃亏，得到的远远少于她所付出的
十之八九的女生，有相同的看法
我的理想情人你做不到
除了快乐，我要无限量的迁就因为我爱放纵
不久前的某一天，我们本地有位年轻的女艺人去世了
她才刚结婚不久呢！
她老公说，他们在一起不曾吵架，因为疼、因为爱，事事都迁就着她，八年如一。
她倒是最幸福的女生，我多希望你也可以这样

再坦言
我尝试着跟你商量我们的假期
计划真的很重要
也是安全感的来源
你每次都是浪子态度，‘我给不到你答案’
即使你有了头绪大概会怎样，你还是不告诉我
到了最后一分钟，当我有了打算后你才肯说，把我的计划一一毁去
每一次都是一样
别说每次见面都回不开心收场，你问你自己是不是因为你
这一个假期，终于碰在一起了！
我期待了多久，好说‘守得云开见月明’
几天前我说你去新加坡时我好好温习等你回来，就可以好好陪你
你回应我不要太辛苦，我说没事别担心
天真地以为最后那几天真的‘都是给我的’，开心得不得了
想着跟你去旅行去看电影去做我们都想做的事，安安静静
你骂说：是你自己说而已，我什么也没答应过
所以是我一厢情愿，自作多情
什么推动力也没了
说什么支持我，要我加油
我只觉得你纸上谈兵
原来你不为我们的假期而期待，可是期待着可以去新加坡玩而已，不管有没有我的陪伴
新加坡我很想去，去不了我很难过。
我猜你不知道
我提及过叫你等我一起才去，你应该没听进去
只想着你自己，这次不去玩，做工后就没有了
就凭着你许久没有跟家人团聚的理由，我接受
我用了多少时间去接受去调整自己，搞到我很讨厌这考试
这个假期，一半的时间（5天）都给你家人去了
剩下四天，星期六你就得回去
每一天，我就看着日历算算算，接着就是叹气
四天，不能让给我？
是我傻，迁就着你的时间牺牲掉我去旅行
我很肯定你说去时要载你跟妹妹，回来需要我载你
一般人就会认为，只有你自己回来
过后的变化，你最后一分钟才通知我
至于去槟城，我敢敢发誓
你没有说过！
你只说谁谁谁会回来，过后妈妈他们会去槟城看婆婆
你没有说你也会去
因为是我自己问的，我问你跟谁一起回来。
你一口气告诉我全部，所以我才那么肯定我没有听错！
我以为你因为想陪我局没跟他们去槟城，那时我心安下来，高兴！
后来才发现事情原来不是这样
原来真是我期望太多，你没打算过带我去，还是讨论一下。
你说过你放假会一半的时间给家人，一半的时间给我
我已经很宽容，给了你时间陪家人
还想怎样？
你一些心理准备也没有给我说，这个假期我会很忙陪家人

你不再是一个人
请去掉你的浪子态度
我已经尝试过很多次去主动，你总是没把话说清楚
一次又一次，都是同样的问题
还要跟我狡辩
你不知道你的话有多么冷嘲热讽着我
冷嘲热讽我前，先拿面镜子照照自己
我不顶撞，因为你是男人，我害怕之余，我得为你留下尊严
就如你说我也是个正常人
我做错了决定，一开始就错了
现在还被你怪罪于我身上
我错在，努力之余播太多时间给你弄得现在你不珍惜我让出来给你的时间
我错在，担心你自己一个孤单寂寞
奋斗以后的时间固定着给你，是一个戒不掉的习惯
自己也几乎忘了，适应下来时问题来了
看吧
现在人家怪你了，怪你把他绑得太紧，没有私人空间了
现在人家有节目忘掉你去了
牺牲去吧，自作多情去吧

我其实想注册去了，再一起去闯以后的世界
不过很矛盾
你这样的态度，哪里可以
我不懂得跟你相处吖
我对你没有信心

话说完了
都代表着我的立场
想必你会对我说，这些只是我片面之词，我爱怎么想就怎么想
我也想提醒你，我不是神，你不说我不懂

眼泪。干了

Untitled

As i write this post now
i do not know, could not figure out what or how my mood is.
Yesterday, is one of the longest night ever i recalled.
'Oh shit! It's happening! It's happening!'
The ever most fearful and unwanted finally happened,
i caused it.
I've been comforting myself to be calm and chill,
'It's okay, it doesn't matter, let begone begone.'
Sounds like i'm cheating myself.
Even during the lesson, my mind is a total mess.
I can't make it clear what we are now.
I try to re-read our conversation yesterday and analyse.
No outcome is made, everything jumbled up.
Thank you, you comforted me.
But at that moment, i did not mind the business at all.
That's why i did not say a thing regarding that.
I ignored your care and love, sorry.
All i think is phone, how, money, why.
Yepp i blame myself, no doubt.
Is what i will do usually but after that i'll be alright.
Leave me bla-ing.
I'm just letting you knowing every single thing that came out from my mind that moment,
without thinking twice or filtering.
I'm clear that i can't fall asleep.
Me too, do not know that you've done with your works accompanying me
Thought you were still fighting with 'em n telling me wanna sleep.
If i were to not accept it, i wouldn't think of money problem.
I knew very well there's no warranty for it.
I will need to get solution for everything before i can fall asleep,
Daddy will wanna pay for it, i need to think how to persuade him let me pay on my own.
I do not understand what makes you start 'lecturing' me. Why can't just let me say all i want first? Even until now, i have no clue.
When problems suddenly triggers you, you'll think of so much too, maybe you did not notice it.
I know things going wrong and try to stop it, asking you to stop replying me and stop 'lecturing' me.
Cuz i'm really feeling worst.
Perhaps the problem is i'm not rational and chill enough? I guess, i don't have a clue yet.
If there was a chance, please tell me and please teach me what are you expecting from me and how should i do?
I need you to be steady, to calm me down, reminding me to be rational and control temper.
Just like you always tell me not to yell at you.
Your patience thru the months, really motivates me to improve myself.
Thank you, partner.
Did u ever know that, me, is actually very afraid of you?
I'm so scare that one day, i'll go against your limit without realising and made you mad at me or just break-up. I do not hope/want that ! ><
I bet' i've done it, and not hoping for anything, i'm not qualify to.
You're always keen with yourself, especially in terms of decision.
I do not dare to ask for any apologise or go any further or ask anything.
I hitted the limit and i deserve anything you're going to give.

6 months, going to be.
December, January, February, March, April, May and now, June...
I don't call it long, or it is neither short.
I feel blessed and grateful.
Every moments you have given to me, places you've brought me to,
i always recall 'em all when i visit the place again alone or with other else.
All of them are just way too awesome.
I never put any hope on you as you told, even if i hope some particular thing to be sucha way that you can never do it, it's really okay for me if you can't.
No hope = surprise, it does not matter how simple things you give/do to me, sincerity is the key.
But to be frank, you've given me plenty of sweet surprises.
The moment you address me 'lou po'.
I feel so cute of you and HAPPINESS!
At the same time, 'is it real?', 'are you serious?'..., came to my mind and there you start discussing bout stuffs regarding to it, so much questions i wanted to ask, seriously.
How sweet was i going to bed that night. Aha !

I must be dreaming now.
Once again, i'm sorry.
I dont know what can i say/do other than sorry.

给我的他

我爱的他

别来无恙？

星期六深夜

我想你了

就要一个星期，

咱们没见

似乎好久

才能相逢

我想念了

每一点每一滴

曾几何时

这个男孩

深深地吸引了我的注意力

侵入了我的生活

何时何日

我依靠了你

怎么我都不知觉

如今

没有你，怎么办

想着想着

眼泪流下来了

生活叫人喊累

我讨厌

枯燥乏味

我不要

很想抗拒

是我们说好的幸福

给我带来力量

要我发奋

我内疚

很多时候把你给冷落掉

眼睛

闭起时

多希望你依旧在身旁

温暖的裹着我

张开时

总是觉得怎么今天那么不平衡

甚至疯狂得

倒不如咱们买双戒子订婚去

有没有很好笑？

我正常时想起来

还觉得挺搞笑下

我很愧疚

老是脱不掉

发脾气的坏习惯

是后知后觉

无可救药？

我还真幸福

还有谁比我幸福

有个那么疼我的男生

疼得忘我

默默去

接受我的长跟短

即使我多么自私

蛮不讲理

蛮横霸道

自我中心时

委屈都一一啃掉

你的付出

我都看得见

我都感觉得到

我常自责

为什么我不是个理智而明白事理的女朋友

有时候

还真不懂怎么去表达

不懂该怎么办

只能说我爱你

当别人闲言闲语之时

我坚持着你的真诚

今天，都被祝福了
感觉真骄傲！

茫茫人海中遇见了你

无意中相爱

历尽

甜酸苦辣

喜怒哀乐

无怨无悔

心。声

我生气? 我妒嫉? 我过分?
我不见得
我是妒嫉, 可是没有生气也不觉得过分
在你立场，你认为太久没见你妹妹，很想念她
可以理解。合理
在我立场，我男朋友回来。我终于放假！终于可以卸下所有包袱专心去陪你。
不必受时间和功课压力限制
没错，我等不及这一天，期待得不得了。
宁愿偷懒一天，做些平时做不到的事，多留几个小时时间给你
宁愿累一些，早点醒来做饭给你吃。*考试没睡好，我其实真的很累*
冰箱的食物七七八八，结果没有饭盒，变了一锅汤出来
是我其中一道最爱
第一次下手做蛋糕，全家人都在笑我呢！
还要迟睡早起那个，他们都呆了下
平日可懒得不得了的我，竟然下厨
你看，你多幸福。我奶奶她羡慕你吖
陪你家人，还真没问题。
不管你妈妈有多麻烦，不管多累，反正就是把时间全给你
我曾几何时在有第三个人存在下，投诉被冷落？
就算你对这部电脑看戏，我也没关系
什么？在我面前跟你妹妹，虽然说是你妹妹玩得好像我跟你那样？
还要冷落我在一旁？我透明？那你叫我来做么？
我陪你？你陪我？你陪她？
算，我理解。我忍。
一家人出去前，你懂你的衣服，是我收是我折的没有？
你妈妈也笑了
一家人出去，别说老人家在。
当他们不在，我还是一样完完全全被忽略
就在登记局，只有咱们俩。
我就走在你后面，牵我的手一起走很难？
被忽视老半天，我在想我现在是什么？透明体？
下午吃晚餐，我真不想鸟你
看在大局，让你好过些，我忍。
说我串？实话实说，那是你看不顺眼，看不习惯。
可是那倒是我，我的习惯，没有表情，没有意思，没有目的。
要么接受，要么甩掉我去。
接受就给我收声。
是你心甘情愿接受，是你说别改变什么，那就别在那里多多话讲
我承认我当时说话语气有点重，请体谅我当时的心情
我还真想恨不得回家，不想再继续陪你，真的很不愿意
也看在我们不是常常有这样的时间相处，我妥协我自己
好不容易说服我自己，无论如何好好珍惜拥有的时间
剪完头发一路走去麦当当，我真的很不自然。
做么又不牵我的手？真的那么难？还是不想？
一忍再忍。晚上，还是一样。
看戏时我知道你时不时有望过来，我选择当作不知道。
我坐得很不舒服，突然脚抽筋，很痛。
不陪我走也算，去取车时还叫我走快一些 ？
可以理解一下没有？
反正我一整天就在想，我是什么？我到底存在没有？很不自然
你妈妈在，你朋友在，没有这些事情发生过；就在你妹妹回来以后
一天里边，接二连三要我不好受
我很难不觉得我不是个代替品
我有说我被冷漠，你否决。
算了，因为不想多说，不晓得该怎么表达出来
就只有晚上回到家，你对着部电脑看戏，我心死睡觉
已经很累。到你看完戏，碰下我，终于记得我的时候。
我想，如果我继续睡觉那么今天不就等于0？
勉强睁着眼睛去陪下你
你哭，哭什么？我更难受，也还没有哭。
我是什么？
寂寞时的代替品？闲着没事做时的填空品？
隔天起来，我想，我终于回家虽然有点不舍。
昨天的事，不计较了
下午，还真有点不快乐
不是说好一起去买东西的吗，我很想跟你逛下
好久没有跟我走街
算了，我理解。没办法
回家，就拼命做家务。想你快点来
家务做完了
1点，2点... 时间不多了，怎么还没来
我想跟你谈谈心... 时间够么？
不想要时间过得太快，免得依依不舍。
急坏！
等下等下，什么心情也没了
你来了，也走了
蛋糕也没有提说想要尝。我失望了
到最后选择让步，想着不如跟我家人吃了晚餐送你去车站。
竟然又是妹妹！！！
我重要还是她重要！我又是什么！
他忘了带钥匙就要牺牲我们的时间
对不起，我忍不下去。
我虽然很想出去，不过真的很抗拒，已经超越了我的极限
我没有很小气了。很无奈。
我满脑子都是为什么。
难道我们可以有酱多时间相处？
难道不能到我下个礼拜去旅行时才陪你妹妹？
难得我所有时间无拘无束任你编，怎么你不珍惜下！！！
难道我常常都那么得空？
连自己也忘了，选择先把时间给你。
是我的假期，我应该先让自己好好休息，可是都是因为疼你，为什么你没有想下我的立场？
如果是这样的情况，我可以说 “不如我们等到一起碰巧放假才见” 可以吗？
那么到时候我就会被重视。
看不到的未来，你肯吗？
抱着最后一线希望，问你要不要一起上云顶。你最后还是决定不要。
我是很想，是失望，不过没有怪你，那半天的课或许真的很重要。

我的男朋友，过去的没有好好珍惜挽不回
你的女朋友很焦急，她恐怕她没有时间陪你
下一次，不懂会是几时了
你懂不懂她恨不得赶快年尾巴试考完，好好当下你的黄脸婆替你做饭洗衣？
她看不到明天，看不到明年，不知道将来会去到那里
预定结婚前这5年都会分隔两地，她每次都很紧张一起共度的时间

你的每一句对不起，我都看在眼里听在耳里疼在心里
可我不晓得怎么去接受，给什么反应。
反正我要传告的是，我收到了
努力过争取过，目前我真的抗拒
抗拒继续酝酿这段感情，
我尝试过不要搞得这么僵，我做不到
生气我也好，什么都好
我对你承诺过要长性要乖，
我做到了，远远超越极限了，看到没有？

看见我的苦心不？看见我的心思不？
不要让我不好受可以吗？
对我公平点可以没有？
我的要求会很过分没有？
怎么连一通电话也没有？

Something tend to forget

Something intend to forget But it came back to my mind a night before last night A summary of my day when you were away. This might be the last one, maybe. My Monday started at 558am, a text from mate woke me up. First thing came to my mind, was that you? Got up and get my bag packed, looking at the books, I feel like 'oh no!' again, wanted to give up so badly As usual went to school clock in assembly. During assembly a question triggers me, why must we sing those songs? For what purpose? Lol After all, in the class was just so so. MUET was saddening, all of us including the teacher were so heavy hearted The school change our teacher again which making us getting annoyed, only our class Every subject, non-stop adjusting ourselves to new teachers within months. Troubling us, and we don't see the point there. After that was 2hours of chemistry. Sucks. My mind gone wandered. Idk whattheheck the man was talking about. Study on my own. Recess I went down, finally on this week. I didn't take any food this morning, that's why. Oh it was then Pearly's lesson. I didn't follow, busying over my interview stuffs puzzling the questions. Friend took my camera to snap on those who're sleeping. And one photo, I zoomed in to see what myself doing back there Guess what, before I get to look at myself, I saw saliva coming out from the fellow's mouth! I burst out laughing VERY LOUDLY in a sudden and everyone was like, what's wrong?! This shocking find out is really classic. Then after was bio, i fall asleep. A video was captured on another mate fishing for minutes! No doubt, I got snapped too. Luckily I slept nicely. Hahaha ! After school I had magazine new members intake interview, So far so good. Thanks to the committe who helped me. Then we had last minute committee meeting, Discussed a lot, so many things that we are making a change this year Hopefully everything goes well according to as what we've planned. Hopefully our teacher advisor would just approve everything we've discussed today' 430pm I got home like mud on the ground. Die die went shower had lunch clean the kitchen went to bed But couldn't fall asleep until 8pm go down for dinner. Yayaya! China can now surf Facebook, my host sis added me and we had a chat. Really very glad to see her there. Teehee That's all for today. Goodnight, love.

:/

It doesnt makes sense.
Not at all.
Oh yea, give up really came to my mind.
And i was about to make the decision, by tonight perhaps.
Give up get nothing, hold on get onto a roller coaster.
Force myself, trouble myself.
I seriously can't take it.
I shall just let go perhaps.
Is it my fault?
Is it really my fault?
Am i wrong?
Am i really wrong?
How many times i need to repeat when i'm down just leave me aside FIRST?
I forced myself to 'serve' your call, just because of not making you feel bad,
but now seems getting everything into a mess?
Again is wrong to tell how i feel?
Offended to let you know that your words hurt?
I wanted to explain that your misunderstood my meaning to you
but you thought that i wanted to start a fight with you.
Lack of communication or understanding
Ahh whatever
Whenever i see your impatient tone in the text, i persuade myself hardly oh he's not, it's text no voice, dont judge.
So are you really not?
Honestly frankly seriously, i feel like i don't fit to be yours.
Again, the confidence built up and now it got whacked down.
Nice one :/
You deserve a better one, not me.
I'm just way too narrow minded, 'small gas', troublesome...
Whatever you named it, yes it is.
I'm not a good one. Prime factor, i don't save money wisely, in your opinion.
And a girl who dont save wisely, will affect your savings, so don't pick me :/

Oh YSL, what do you want now?
Don't you have a clear picture of it?
No idea at all. BLANK !
Okay let me tell you what.
I am really now at the junction of to go or not to go
In sense of studies and also relationship.
Suicide best? HA.HA.HA. Stupidity
You're blaming yourself again, or it is really your fault?
Is it wrong to tell your partner how you feel?
Is it wrong that you disturbed him emotionally when he's screwed with his work?
Wrong timing, is a no doubt btw

First time, first guy, driving me insomnia, at night even nap.
Just couldn't get my mind out of it whether it's up or down.
Send a love to your friends, not even once to me.
Great one, who cares it's to a boy or a girl.
Haha. I don't see my actual importance as being YOURS.
I AM JEALOUS !
So not proud of your girlf, until whenever she feels like tagging you in any post,
she has to think twice first.
Whenever she has problem with you need a listener, still she gotta think twice first.
It ended up keeping to herself each time, just to maintain your image.
LOL. You know all these? I don't think so.
What so great bout you? I couldn't answer this anymore now.
3months old is approaching, how is it gonna be?
I dare not imagine.
Oh 10days, how are we going to survive?
LOL Idc, i must will get it over.
Or it just gone half way like that?

Btw, i couldn't find the ad anymore bout our vacation. Sorry

Alright, final decision, let go and forget.
Couldn't afford to care so much anymore.
...Walk away

你不知道的事

我的男朋友

最接近我的人

请问，可否摆多少少耐心在我身上

你的另一半

她要崩溃了

不，是已经崩溃去
推动力，你去了哪？

渐渐迷失方向

思念，一天一天累积

嗯，我还撑得下去

我要快快把试考完好好拨时间陪你

好多来不及分享的大小事儿，几时得空听我说

捺在心里，我很闷闷不乐

有时候一个人，很累很不习惯

就好比如，好好的一双手

突然间没有了一只

几时，我们才不用分隔两地

男朋友，我是不是很烦人

怎么每天都让你担心似的

怎么总是觉得那么近那么远

男朋友，不要怪我好不好

我很不好受

我只在撒娇

我真的很不快乐

怎么你没有关心一下，今天口试怎么了

好多天，我没睡好了

都被考试缠绕着

反而醒来觉得，一夜的噩梦又过去了

我讨厌晚上睡不好

我会责怪自己怎么没把觉给睡好

我老早已经说过了，我会变得很暴躁

可是现在看来我没有发脾气，只是有点在自闭当中

对不起，我尽不了多少责任

我知道我每天都有一件事没有做

没有去提醒你点点滴滴

我没有忘记

我心有余而力不足

眼泪不听话去

依靠的肩膀，去了哪里？

It's our first Valentine's Day together ! :D

Back to November 2011, our memory lane begins

4th of November at Folie-folie Cafe&Grill is where our first meet

It was Athletic Club farewell.

Actually i didn't wanna go, but in the end, i attended

At first i wondered, waaaaa where did this fellow-YOU come from? Seems graduated long ago

And that night, we went to Jusco for a movie, In Time and then Gourmet Square for supper .

If i'm not wrong, you sat next to me.

The next day, i'm went to KL and i wall posted you

We spammed there throughout the day,

and you get my number that night during Faye Wong's concert.

There we started to text, almost everyday.

One morning when i was in Genting Highlands, 

was surprised to receive your text.

And ya, you dated me out.

You said, i come out then you come back, still ask me not to ffk you !

First moment, i was very struggling cuz don't know how to say NO! Hahaha 

So weird hanging out with a new friend who is still so strange to me.

And for the first time, i solo with a boy ! 

Look back at it now, perhaps a right choice huh? :P

Yes yes, our first date is on 11.11.11 !

We went to Mcd for ice-cream, you told me so much bout you i was like yes yes yes yes yes and don't know what to say ! LOL ! and watched TinTin, boringggggg cartoon. *NgekNgek*

Oh yea, i fetched you home. 

First time, i send a boy home!!! Got face lorrrr you harrr?

Our second and third date, on the 25th & 26th of Nov.

We watched 那些年，我们一起追的女孩 and Twilight.

Indeed a funny experience, watching together with Claudia and her mom !

You're like, Hello...Aunty... HAHAHAHAH !

And you, DIDN'T SHAVE YOUR MUSTACHE ! WOWWWWWWW !

We went and eat ice before the movie!

After movie, remember where we went? 

Ecopark !

You told me bout the fishes and the aunty who looked at us, remember? 

Then we went to Menglembu for dinner, we had wanton noodles and horhee ! 

First time, you treated a girl.

First time i know there's a shortcut to Menglembu then then then, kami pergi pasar malam.

Today, you placed your hand on my shoulder !  

That night, you phoned me telling me bout the movie and the story between you and your ex girlf.

You told me that she phoned you asking you whether you watched that movie not 

and chatted the past of you both. You were a lil upset and in half-way sleeping condition.

:)

......

The days after, you're busy preparing for your exam,

and i'm busy enjoying my holidays.

It was the evening of 1/12/2011 where we suddenly get into a 'fool'

A 'fool' where that was the third time you 'played' on me, 

yea i intended to challenge you back.

In and out, up and down, left and right. 

The challenge lasted until 4am of the next day

You serious or not one? Half-half la.

You want or not? I dont know. You?

Yes i want. Okay then we ON!

This is how we get together.

We first address each other TKK and YSL which i think, ahahaha...?

And you suddenly called me Dar, and you asked me can you address me so in future. Yes-yes !

8/12/2011, you came back and we met at Ipoh Parade to send you home.

Upon your arrival that day, i feel a lil shy and *bipbopbipbopbipbop* :$

But it became you send yourself home then i take over drive myself back home. Hahaha !

That day you told me, only see me for that lil while, not yet see clearly.

 9/12/2011 which is our first official date. 

We watched, Petaling Street Warriors and White Vengeance.

Waaaaaaa, first day hold hands got light bulb, so nice ahh.

At night, we went for snow beer with your friends 

and your friend's girlf was my ex classmate. The world is just so small

And and, there comes the historical moment where we arrived your doorstep, 

i said iLoveyou and you push my neck forward and kissed me !

I remember that so clearly, even until today !

I can even remember which shirt you were wearing that day. Teehee !

And third date, i didn't keep the movie tickets, jadi i lupa-ed apa terjadi.

Forth date, IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE ! 

You gave me the cute Snoopy and the Adidas tumbler.

I like it ! :D

We watched Flying Swords in LFS cinema,

and it was a mandarin version.

After that we just counted down in the car, on the way to Ampang. 

A lot of dates that we've spent together, i've eventually forgotten them all.

But i know, 

i like going to Ecopark with you, watching movie, eating, going night market, talking to you, 

do everything together with you. 

And someday, i went to your place, first time ever,

we kissed for like 2hours...?

And you were on your yellow Forever 21 tee !

On January 16, the end of your sem break and there begins our long distance relationship.

I never had this before, so it's really some sort of worried.

Confused whether i can handle it well or not, furthermore not confident enough.

Well, we're now two and half months old.

There were a lot of ups and downs as well as arguments we had underwent, 

our days filled with joys and little bit of tears and sourness

But anyhow, really thanks lot for being such an amazing boyf to me,

which i never had before.

Accepting me for who i am without complains, fulfilling my wishes, taking care of me like a doctor,

supports, endurance and toleration that had given to me, 

correcting my shortcomings especially my temper.

I'll never be a perfect one, but i promise, i will try my best to do my very best for you

Babe boy, do not complain about yourself over your shortcomings, 

i love you for who you are, NOW AND ALWAYS.

Once again,

TENG KAL KIN, you're irreplaceable,
 I LOVE YOU !

May your first Valentine Day with me and having a girlf,

be a fantastic one.

MZILEU 

First picture together, taken on 5/2/2012.

I don't know how am i doing things alone, you're not here for me

Untitled

Uneasiness

Upset

Emo-ness

Emotional

Loneliness

Whatever, feeling weird 

Dedicated to you

Dear boy, you're going back tmr
Other than complicated, nothing best suits
I don't know what to react when i see your tears, i feel the same too,
but i have to hold mine back.
Somehow, there're things that i really can't let you know,
esp like the issue that you brought up this afternoon.
It's all because of i know we both are facing it and i can't let you feel bad further more.
Let me handle it on my own, trust my ability.
First and foremost, i would like to thank you.
Thank you for giving me such a great month
Without giving me hope, turning everything into happiness
Fulfilling my wishes without hesitating, tolerance, understanding, forgiving, loving and trust that you've given to me.
I admit, i'm not a perfect girlf, i've alot of shortcomings which is that many until can't list'em out.
Idk what so great bout myself that made you fall for me whereas i'm nothing more than a common girl
I seldom social, seldom club, or should have conclude as b.o.r.i.n.g at most of the time
This is also why, somehow i feel pressuring being your girlf
Frankly, somehow i feel some left out from your life.
Whenever you ask me to go together to see your friends, i feel so glad, but physically restricted me.
Tiredness kills. During holidays, it's definitely a yes-yes.
But when i say yes, you'll afraid that your big bunch of friends scare me away. LOL?
*scratch head*

Suddenly we came into each other's life, suddenly we're so far away
Appearing in my dream almost every night, wide grin on my face receiving your text esp in the morning morning, day and night

Whenever you hug me like a baby, i feel so safe and protected.
Never been so comfy before in my entire 18years.

2012, i know it'll be very tough for me
I feel somewhat lost in direction, I'm afraid to lose you.
Can please promise me, no matter how far apart we are, have faith in our love alright?


Sayang, i'll miss your hugs and kisses, your smell, your face your voice your smile, everything of yours
Promise me, please take good care of yourself, watch your diet,
i'm so worry bout you back there where you can hardly get healthy food
Don't worry bout me, mommy will look after me

YSLLOVESYOU

Life ?

Life? Nope, looks like lifeless more.
Brain is blank, feeling like it's working 24/7 non-stop

Just couldn't stop

I'm tired, totally off mood

Everything are piling up,

one comes after another,
 huhu

I have time but no energy to complete them

I can focus but not think steadily

I wanted to talk so badly, but don't know what to say
Feeling so pissed with people and things
Never ask me anything nonsensical and make me repeat things
You'll totally get annoyed hearing my impatient tone

Thankyou my dear blog, 

allowing me to heart talk with you

 Love, IMY 

Sorry for couldn't be with you 

Am not in the mood yet
I'll do my best

YSL, add oil ! 

Chinese New Year is approaching, your holiday is here very soon !